In Your Pants
by blahosaurus
Summary: It’s not that Syaoran minds Fai and Kurogane getting it on every other day. He only asks they keep it in their pants long enough for him to leave the freaking room. OneShot


_In Your Pants_

The first time Syaoran caught Fai and Kurogane kissing it had been shocking, though pleasing to see the two finally working something out. It hadn't been romantic or conventional because since when had Kurogane been romantic and Fai conventional? It had taken place in one of the more unpleasant worlds where it was far too hot to even think of battling for a bloody feather. Everything smelt sulphuric like a volcano, pushing hotness in everybody's faces until even Mokona was sluggishly subdued. But Fai had taken it upon himself to cheer people up, which only resulted in severely irritated an already frustrated Kurogane to the point where the combination of the suffocating temperature and Fai's constant chatter had caused the ninja to pull the mage towards him, lip to lip to seek some sort of outlet and relief and to shut Fai up for just a _freaking second. _

Syaoran could remember the sweat in the air and the shriek Mokona gave as the two men ripped apart, flushed and guilty.

The second time had been a little less surprising but no less relieving to see the two had not given each other up. This time it was in a world in which the wind was so fast and wailing and aggressive, and the price of metal so high, that the outer layers of buildings were made of soft material that warded erosion away, sometimes giving the impression of deformed, artistic looking structures.

Kurogane and Fai had been gone for a little too long and Syaoran had gone looking for them, leaving Sakura to rest in the care of Mokona who had assured him to be able of protection. He had found them rippled by the currents of air, the light materials which decorated the heavy clothes fluttered around them like magic as Fai was pushed against a wall, prevented from sinking only by Kurogane's large, tanned arms that pressed the two closer.

It was Syaoran's embarrassed stuttering which had drawn their attention away from each other, Kurogane's lips catching and dragging across Fai's neck. A blushing Kurogane and Syaoran and a masked Fai has stumbled and twirled respectively out of the alley.

The third time he caught them together, the only source of surprise had been the suddenness of the scene and a little irked confusion as to why the hell it was always Syaoran in the misfortunate position of interrupting them. The world they had been in was blooming with a spectacular spring so that the scent of flowers was heavy on the air; lilacs and roses washing over Syaoran with an edge of sweat as he opened the door. He had blinked suddenly as Fai sprawled on the floor, expression broken, open, as he moaned twisted, breathless versions of Kurogane's name, who was trailing a path of kisses and licks from collarbone to hipbone. The last thing he saw was Fai arch upwards before Syaoran went '_eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!'_ and shut the door as hard as he could before fleeing the scene.

The fourth time had been a little irritating. The world had been busy and noisy and Syaoran had only wanted respite as he went into the massive library that slept in the house they were staying in. He loved the smell of it; old, old pages, as if wisdom itself hung in the air. The problem had been that the cavernous room echoed and magnified small noises like a church. Syaoran had followed the peculiar sounds with concern, but stopped short as he caught –you guessed it- Fai and Kurogane pushing each other against a shelf of books, rousing twirls of dust that danced around the two animalistic figures.

"Ahem!" Syaoran had coughed, jolting the two companions still and staring. "This is a Library, guys," Syaoran had said because...well, it was! And he sure as hell didn't want to see Fai's ass very time he wanted to research.

"So it is, Syaoran-kun!" Fai exclaimed. Kurogane managed to be a tad less fluent.

"Yah- bleh, uff, err...fucking get off me, you idiot mage!"

Right.

Now, Syaoran was a patient person. He was considerate and kind and several notches less insane than most of the people he met but even he had a breaking point. And as the worlds passed, so did the accidental voyeuristic incidents: the back of the aquarium in the land of seas, in the wind-mill in the mini-gold course, in the laundry room in the bankrupt society. Even one on the bed...only it had been Syaoran's room as well.

So, by the sixteenth time, Syaoran had been bloody fed up of being able to draw an accurate sketch of both man's full anatomy.

"Oh for the _love_ of _god,_ you two!" The boy suddenly shouted, making the intertwined pair cease their movements against each other with a jolt as they turned surprised eyes at Syaoran who, not even averting his eyes, was simply glaring at them.

"Look, I know you two have control issues and whatnot but, seriously, it's not that hard to lock a door," he admonished whilst a horrified Kurogane tried to push Fai _out_ of him and yank the fallen blanket over them at the same time as trying not to keel over dead from mortification.

"Looky here," the boy went on, "see? This is the lock," he slid it shut "and this is how it works. Easy." By now Kurogane's face was two drops of blood from explosion and Fai was smirking widely at everything as the lock clicked happily under the frustrated boy's hand. "You got it now? Sheesh. You would think a ninja and a renegade would have a little more care in this sort of thing..." the boy grumbled, shooting the pair a last squinty-eyed frown before stepping away and shutting the door grumpily.

A heavy, paralysed silence fell. Kurogane was staring at the door as if it had come to life and proclaimed an intense love for Swedish cheese whilst Fai's expression only got cattier.

"Hyuu!" The mage said finally, "seems Syaoran is quite manly and strong as well!"

At that, Kurogane ripped his eyes away from the accused entryway to settle a startled gaze on Fai, though the ultimate death of the ninja's brain caused a few moments of speechless gaping and occasional opening and closing of his reddened mouth. Eventually he only had one thing to say.

"You're all freaking crazy!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/N

Ahahaha, I actually really like this one-shot. It developed from a conversation with Every Dog Has Its Day.

Poor, poor Syaoran.

Though, hunny, if it were me I would grab a chair and some popcorn.

Come on!

Heh, anyway, hope you liked. Review and share a thought.


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